Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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