Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
