I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
