I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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