My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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