The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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