Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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