Your mouth is God's brothel.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
