So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
