A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
