I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
