The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
