Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
