he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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