Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
