No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
