Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
