Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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