I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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