Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
