i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
