i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
