If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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