I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
