I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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