Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
