We won't sleep together?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
