I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
