My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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