I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
