I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
