I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
