Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
