I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
