we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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