So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
