My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just high enough for therapy.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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