Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
