gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
