is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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