my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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