it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
