if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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