Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
