The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
