Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
