he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it hurts more in the daytime
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
