It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
