no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
