i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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