So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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